Decisions and Deciding

Author : David McDermott
When you are deciding things what kind of framework do you have in place? Is it all about you or is it all about others? Do you constantly seem to be avoiding risks or problems or do your choices take you closer to the things you want? Do you make choices for instant gratification or for future reward? Do your choices serve to keep you isolated? Do you somehow seem to sacrifice yourself to keep others happy?Let's have a closer look at some of these ideas.Sometimes people have difficulty making decisions because of the consequences. One of these consequences may be "what will other people think?" This frequently leads people to not making a decision or not doing the thing that they would really like to be doing for themselves. So they miss out.They have never learnt to make decisions for themselves, or they can make a decision but don't stick to it. They need other people to think well of them so that they can be okay. Which means, of course, that other people are actually making the decisions for them.The other argument, of course, is that if I do this purely for myself, then it is selfish. Oscar Wilde said that selfish is not living your life the way you want to live it, selfish is expecting other people to live their lives the way you want them to. By this definition it's actually selfish of other people not to allow you make decisions that are consistent with living your own life.Another consequence of making decisions is whether or not it makes you stand out from the crowd. This may be desirable, or it may not. However, instead of always choosing to be part of the group, or always choosing to do something different from the group, it's useful to have flexibility in this area.And if you start making different kinds of decisions than before, it may not please those around you, because they have become accustomed to you doing things a certain way. How do you deal with that?How much of your decisions and choices are based upon making sure that you avoid risks and difficulties? This means that much of your attention is taken up with considering failure and what does not work. Past mistakes are carried around and are used as reminders of those things that are not wanted.This is similar to the coward, looking over his shoulder and running away from what he does not want. Where he is going is of little interest so long as he gets away from the things behind him.I'm not saying that avoiding problems is not necessary. I'm suggesting that it's more useful to have your focus of attention on where you're going and what you want, knowing that within this framework you have already learnt what kinds of things to avoid. Because even the best decision maker knows that the unexpected will happen. And he/she builds this into the decision making process.So what about the time frame of your decisions? How far into the future do you consider the impact of the choices you make? I think this is very much related to the starting point, the place from which you make your decisions. If you are concerned about your own safety and security, that timeframe is typically very short. However, it is also very useful to be able to make decisions that you know will hold true for a long time into the future. This way you don't have to keep remaking them.What about those times when you know you'd like to, or should, choose one option and you end up doing another? And later you think back and realize that you made a mistake. But you also realize that at the time you already knew it was a mistake. It's interesting that you knew at the time what you should have done, but you chose to ignore the signals. Maybe it's time to learn to pay attention to these signals, if only you knew what they were…There are those who spend time weighing up the pros and cons of each and every option available. They give each aspect of each choice a number so that they can total them up and make the best choice. Only to find that by the time they make up their mind, some of the opportunities have gone, some are no longer appealing and they've run out of motivation!And then, of course, there are others who never have to engage in this analysis. These people seem to know how to quickly and easily gather the available information in a situation, make a decision, stick to it, and go through with it. The process is outlined at www.decision-making-confidence.comThese folks also know how to easily change their decision. But they only do so when they get new and highly relevant information. And they have the ability to determine what is relevant new information and what is not.If you were making great decisions easily and quickly, what would you do with all the extra spare time you would have?How would you like to have all these considerations, and more, integrated into a single decision-making process? So that you knew each and every decision was appropriate for you and for those around you?This process is already built into your system and you can learn to do it consciously for yourself. Are you ready?Dr David McDermott walked away from a career as a plastic surgeon where he was helping people change on the outside. He now teaches profound personal change from the inside out, using the ultimate decision making model, you're own! Find out more at http://www.decision-making-confidence.comEveryone may reprint the article in any free publication as long as it is used in its entirety, including this signature with active links, and is not changed in any way. Just be kind enough to let me know when you are reprinting it by using the contact page at the address above. Thanks!
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